Marriage Counsellor Karen Gosling can quickly help you identify your partner's primary love language and use it to meet his or her need for love. I refer you to the book, The 5 Love Languages, by Dr. Gary Chapman where he writes, "The desire for romantic love in marriage is deeply rooted in our psychological makeup." The problem is, keeping love alive in our relationship is serious business. And many relationships fail because couples don't know their partner's primary love language. The trick to staving off separation and/or divorce lies in how effectively you and your spouse know and communicate each other's need for love! A counselling client recently did not use these … [Read more...]

Marriage Coach Karen Gosling can help you work through your unresolved hurt feelings in your relationship. John came to counselling where he reported that his wife, Pam, was frequently irritated with him and was often snappy or angry, "even though I try hard to do what she asks." He wanted to understand if this was resentment? What are some signs she is resentful? How will I know? I explained to John that there can be many reasons why Pam resents him. However, resentments, or unresolved hurt feelings, usually start with anger about something that you have done, for example, flirted with another person or left laundry across the bedroom floor. OR it may be something that … [Read more...]

Your relationship had a pretty rocky start ... He was married when you met him and you both fell in love and got together You went to jail and he went back to his wife – and started a family You discovered this when you got out of jail, and decently "let him go" to be with his wife and child. Now you're wondering, "Why does he not trust me?" You continued dating but kept comparing new partners with the love of your life that you had set free. You were still grieving the loss of him and the future you had at one time dreamed of having with him. That's normal. Other things happened in your life which were traumatic and you experienced a lot more grief. Then he came back and you resumed … [Read more...]

Here are some keys to communicating effectively that can save your marriage Are you sick of fighting and even talking about separating– but then you even argue about that Communicating effectively can save your marriage. Alan and Di, who had 2 children under 6, were always fighting – lots of bickering, harsh and sarcastic comments, and so often a quick rise to conflict whenever they had a discussion. They were sick of fighting and even talked about separating– but then even argued about that.  They agreed to see a counselor to assist them with the process, believing that having someone to facilitate their discussions would reduce the conflict.They told the … [Read more...]

To “give someone the cold shoulder” is to ignore someone deliberately Yet giving your partner the cold shoulder can end up making you feel decidedly sorry for yourself - we feel guilty and suffer from losing one of our social connections when we ostracise a person Are you someone who regularly gives your partner "the cold shoulder"?The information about the avoidant emotional style I've written about in other blog posts is starting to interest you, right?Probably because it resonates, and you easily understand what I have been explaining.Yes, this is one of the most common issues in a disconnected marriage. Each one has a different emotional style. And it … [Read more...]