Sally asks Karen why her boyfriend won’t commit to herQuestion: FROM SALLYI want to get married but it seems he doesn’t. We have been going out for 3 years now and are seen by friends and family as a couple. He assures me that I am the only girl in his life. But he won’t speak to me about getting married. If I bring up the topic he just goes quiet. And if I insist, we end up arguing.Many of our friends are getting married, but not us!So it makes me wonder sometimes if he has someone else. Why won’t my boyfriend ask me to marry him? Is he a commitment-phobe? Am I fooling myself to think we have a future together?Answer: FROM KARENIt sounds like you are in a relationship with a great guy… you … [Read more...]

Marriage Counsellor Karen Gosling can teach you how to improve your poor communication in relationships to reduce conflict.Phil and Michelle came to counselling to deal with poor communication in their relationship.There was an upsetting incident relating to the time Michelle had been in hospital having their first child. She'd had the baby on a Thursday and Phil said to her on the Friday that the lads at work wanted to take him out to celebrate his son's birth. His work mates had organised a golf day for the Saturday and wanted Phil to come and be the guest of honor so they could take him for a few drinks afterwards to celebrate. Phil was absolutely chuffed and when he told Michelle what … [Read more...]

Marriage Counsellor Karen Gosling can quickly help you identify your partner's primary love language and use it to meet his or her need for love. I refer you to the book, The 5 Love Languages, by Dr. Gary Chapman where he writes, "The desire for romantic love in marriage is deeply rooted in our psychological makeup." The problem is, keeping love alive in our relationship is serious business. And many relationships fail because couples don't know their partner's primary love language. The trick to staving off separation and/or divorce lies in how effectively you and your spouse know and communicate each other's need for love! A counselling client recently did not use these … [Read more...]

Marriage Coach Karen Gosling can help you work through your unresolved hurt feelings in your relationship. John came to counselling where he reported that his wife, Pam, was frequently irritated with him and was often snappy or angry, "even though I try hard to do what she asks." He wanted to understand if this was resentment? What are some signs she is resentful? How will I know? I explained to John that there can be many reasons why Pam resents him. However, resentments, or unresolved hurt feelings, usually start with anger about something that you have done, for example, flirted with another person or left laundry across the bedroom floor. OR it may be something that … [Read more...]

Your relationship had a pretty rocky start ... He was married when you met him and you both fell in love and got together You went to jail and he went back to his wife – and started a family You discovered this when you got out of jail, and decently "let him go" to be with his wife and child. Now you're wondering, "Why does he not trust me?" You continued dating but kept comparing new partners with the love of your life that you had set free. You were still grieving the loss of him and the future you had at one time dreamed of having with him. That's normal. Other things happened in your life which were traumatic and you experienced a lot more grief. Then he came back and you resumed … [Read more...]