Relationships can often be confused because intimate partners don't know how to deal with an avoidant emotional style I experience my negative emotion intensely (the burden of the highly sensitive person) "Once I learned how my adrenalin floods affected everything I did life became much more enjoyable and easier".Have you carefully considered your emotional style? Do you find that you avoid confrontation and difficult conversations? If so, you likely have an avoidant emotional style. Often times two people in a relationship will have different strategies to deal with conflict. Knowing how to manage each will help to improve communication and resolve hurt feelings.I have always gone … [Read more...]

The fight or flight response has got a new name. It's now called the fight, flight or freeze response Adding the word freeze is because often, instead of fighting or fleeing, sometimes we tend to freeze (like a deer in the headlights) in stressful situations Fight Flight or Freeze ReactionIn other blog posts I've been telling you about the fight flight or freeze response and how our different Emotional Styles - Reactive or Avoidant - can impact on romance.Reactive people are more inclined to be immediately aggressive (fight) and Avoidant people are more likely to be defensive or withdraw (flee). When triggered, people either  - fight flight or freeze.I am talking about freezing or … [Read more...]

Learn How The Five Love Languages Can Help You Win At Your Relationship What can you do to fill your love tank tonight? Marriage and family expert Dr. Gary Chapman answers questions on the Five Love Languages. Listen to the video below in which Oprah interviews Dr. Chapman about this topic. Do you know what your partner's primary and secondary love language is? If not, isn't it time to find out?  Often the way that you show love for your partner may not be interpreted by your partner as a loving gesture if they don't "speak the same language". Usually, the way that you give love is the way the YOU like to receive it. However, it may not be your partner's … [Read more...]

Randy Pausch teaches us how to let go of lowered self esteem in the face of trouble in our relationships There is a cost we have to pay, either for the life we want or don't want Why am I writing about: Let go of lowered self esteem to reboot your relationships? Hi, I'm Dr. Mike Gosling, Karen's husband. Recently, a friend referred me to a video on the web by Professor Randy Pausch, titled "Last Lecture: Achieving Your Childhood Dreams". You can watch it below. I learned so much from Randy's life experience that I felt a need to share it.Randy's fight against pancreatic cancer, his humility, his gratitude. He said, "Experience is what you get when you don't … [Read more...]

Have you ever imagined that you feel limerent toward your partner? Is this "urge to merge" affecting your relationship because your partner does not have reciprocal feelings? What is Limerence? It is a term coined by American psychologist Dorothy Tennov in her 1979 book Love and Limerence – The Experience of Being in Love to describe the fabulous feelings most of us experience in the early stages of a romantic relationship. It is a temporary phase marked by physical, intellectual and emotional changes. We can’t eat, we can’t sleep, we stay up all night talking, yet we feel full of energy the next day. Many people lose weight at this time. We feel euphoric and are convinced no one … [Read more...]