QUESTION: My wife blames me for everything! Whenever I make a decision, she gets angry and blames me for not consulting her. But if I leave it up to her to organize something, she sulks and refuses to do anything.
Sometimes, she won’t talk to me for days. I’ve expressed my frustration, yet all she says is she can’t love an abusive man. I am at my wits end. How shall I deal with her?
ANSWER: It seems you’ve tried all ways to do things right, yet your efforts are never acknowledged. It’s common knowledge a woman can be hard to please – and some can be harder than others!
Some women feel entitled to display their bad moods and don’t seem to grasp the impact of that behavior on others.
When their expectations are not met, some women rage, going on and on with their blaming, while others may shut down and become cold – displaying some form of hostility. Neither way is lovable, yet nonetheless the woman concerned will still expect love from her man.
Your wife is hurting inside and feels fearful and worthless. In turn she blames you for her pain. People with frustrating personalities need to be “handled” in a certain way.
By learning effective coping techniques you can ensure your marriage will not deteriorate further and may in fact become stronger.
The first step is trying to understand her pain. By empathizing with her you’ll give her the specific reassurance she needs.
If she’s not willing to have counselling with you, make the first move and attend counselling yourself to learn useful tools and advice for managing the situation and saving your marriage.
Are you experiencing marriage problems… feeling stressed, angry or anxious? Have you got personal issues?
Still thinking about investing in counselling for your marriage, but not actually doing anything about it? Worried about getting the right counsellor? Don’t put it off any longer…