Why do I feel tense all the time?
Do you worry excessively about things that are unlikely to happen, or feel tense and anxious all day long—sometimes with no real reason?
Q Why do I feel tense all the time? It’s as though I’m fearful of something. My logical brain tells me nothing is really wrong – not with me, my health, my children or my marriage. But I startle easily, even at a dog barking or the gecko in the kitchen. Whatever is wrong with me!
A The fear center of the brain – the amygdala – kicks off a stress response whenever it senses the organism it is responsible for could be in some kind of danger. And that organism is you! So you may just be a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP).
A sensitive person’s amygdala is highly sensitized. An indication of danger could simply be being busy, tired, hot and feeling “trapped”. You could be in an unfamiliar environment, or even outside when storms are brewing – without an umbrella. An accumulation of such small stress responses can put you on “high alert” – accounting for your feeling of “fear”.
Being highly sensitive may sometimes feel like a disability, but it’s actually a gift. You’re far more intuitive than others, often sensing other people’s discomfort as well as your own. You’ll sense if someone is disappointed or displeased with you – even if they deny it. No wonder you take things personally!
It’s possible you may also have allergies or skin problems, as it’s common to be sensitive to contaminants in the air. And there’s a strong genetic link – chances are one or more of your children is also sensitive. If they’re a fussy eater, won’t sleep unless the wrinkles are smoothed out of the sheet and the pillows are “just right” or complain about tags in T-shirts being scratchy, you may have a sensitive child. Such children are sensitive to strong smells and tastes – often using the word “yuk” to describe such things. Sensitive children are also more cautious than others. Hesitant to get involved with something new, they like to “check out” the place or person before they dive in. This does not necessarily mean they’re shy, just initially reserved.
Being highly sensitive can be a blessing, but you need to know how to use your unique skills.
Knowing why you feel tense all the time is one of the most important steps in rebuilding your relationship.
When you’re trying to fix your relationship but your emotions are out of control, you will always end up fighting. It’s time to get some professional help.
You can change this today.
I can help you to:
- Grow your emotional skills – emotional skills are far more important than any functional skill in achieving a high level of peace and calm within oneself.
- Know your emotional style – your emotional style effects how you react in emotional situations.
- Understand your emotional brain – learn how your brain effects your personal emotions.