Do you have a nagging concern about your man being a Narcissist?
According to the Ancient Greek legend, Narcissus fell in love with his own reflection in a pond.
He rejected the advances of the nymph Echo and was punished by Nemesis, consigned to pine away as he fell in love with his own reflection, forever hoping that one day that beautiful person in the bottom of the pool was going to come out and love him.
The narcissist requires excessive adulation, admiration, attention, and affirmation, or failing that wishes to be feared. Such feedback is known as narcissistic supply and the narcissist uses others’ reaction to him or her to regulate his or her sense of self-worth.
Most people do not know what a narcissist is and cannot recognize him or her. They do not know what charmers narcissists are and how they use people for their own ends without compunction.
Most people do not know that someone with a narcissistic personality disorder cannot change. It is a part of who they are.
A person can have narcissistic tendencies or traits all the way through to a narcissistic personality disorder.
A narcissistic individual wants to be treated as special or unique. They expect favorable treatment from others and want automatic compliance with their requests.
For instance they do not feel they should be made to wait in line and expect to be the center of attention. They are mystified when they do not get what they want – or what they are entitled to. If an individual disappoints a narcissist then he or she will devalue that person and go all out to ‘punish’ the one who defied them.
A narcissistic injury occurs when someone defeats or criticizes the narcissistic individual. When a narcissistic injury occurs, the narcissist begins to feel empty, degraded, and humiliated and is capable of retaliating with narcissistic rage. His or her reactions constitute disdain or defiant attacks and patronizing their opponents. It’s all to do with an attitude of “I’m superior” to everyone else.
Narcissists are more often males, although we are experiencing an increasing number of female narcissists, or ‘bitch bullies’ as I call them, in our clinical practice.
A narcissist demonstrates a lack of empathy towards others and this causes them to treat others like objects. They do not see others as human beings, but see them as objects that have no feelings or needs. Their sense of entitlement leads to their exploitation of others but results in little guilt or remorse.
Narcissists never give up. A lot of people think that narcissists will see the error of their ways and change, but that never happens.
People change if they aren’t getting what they want or if they become aware that their behavior is hurting someone else. With a narcissist, they always get what they want by exploiting people and they don’t care how their behavior impacts on someone else. This is because they have zero ability to empathize. These are the reasons a narcissist will never change. It’s not about how people are benefiting, it’s all about how people think they are a great guy or gal.
Do you know someone who displays narcissistic traits – Perhaps your boss, your local politician, or your partner? I don’t think they’ll ever change! The simplest thing to do with a narcissist is to walk away – they will win the tug of war, you will win your sanity!
To help ease your concern about your man being a Narcissist, make an appointment with Karen Gosling.
—— A GREAT MARRIAGE STARTS WITH YOU ——
