Your amazing brain... Love Lust Attraction and an irresistible cocktail of chemicals!
When did you know you fancied your partner? What did that meeting do to your brain chemicals? Did you just fall in love?
I Love Helen Fisher! She is an Anthropologist, not a psychologist, and simply describes what she and her colleagues discover in their research – love lust attraction. Helen teaches us about the feelings of “chemistry” we have with someone we feel connected to. And she is right! Our bodies surge with chemicals of attraction, and surge even more if our “love” is requited.
Oh the wonderful experience of those attraction chemicals, we swoon with the feelings of being in love. Helen describes what happens in our brains when we fall in love – and the three brain systems involved with being in relationship with someone – the sexual circuit, romantic love (the focus, craving, possessiveness we feel when we are ‘in love’) and attachment, which releases a whole different lot of chemicals.
What happened when you first met your soulmate? Was it love at first sight? Did you reveal to each other intimate details about your lives for half an hour? It’s all about the chemicals! We are but creatures responding to biological function, Helen says. But I like to add that we have a thinking brain that can make decisions about those feelings and our responses to them!
Did you know that you can intervene between the event and response – what we call the GAP – and change the way you feel. You can choose to start to rekindle your romance simply be gaining a greater understanding of how the chemicals in your body are impacting on you and your partner.
Watch Helen Fisher’s video on love, lust and attachment below. Helen writes:
Adrenaline: The initial stages of falling for someone activates your stress response, increasing your blood levels of adrenaline and cortisol.
Dopamine: Stimulates 'desire and reward' by triggering an intense rush of pleasure. It has the same effect on the brain as taking cocaine.
Serotonin: One of love's most important chemicals that may explain why when you're falling in love, your new lover keeps popping into your thoughts.
Oxytocin: A powerful hormone released by men and women during orgasm
Knowing how you are driven by different hormones and chemicals is one of the most important steps in rebuilding your relationship.
When you’re trying to fix your relationship but your chemicals are out of control, you will always end up bewildered and misunderstood. It’s time to get some professional help.
You can change this today.
I can help you to:
- Understand your chemical mix – the role adrenalin, cortisol, serotonin and oxytocin play in the early stages of limerence and as love grows and sometimes dies.
- Know about limerence – a state of mind resulting from romantic love lust attraction, characterized by feelings or euphoria and the desire to have your feelings reciprocated.
- Understand your emotional brain – learn how your brain triggers the release (and sometimes absorption) of chemicals to affect the way you feel and impact on your mood.
—— A GREAT MARRIAGE STARTS WITH YOU ——
