This guest post is by Jacqueline Sinfield of Untapped Brilliance.
Dr. Brene Brown studied human connection for over 6 years. During that time she realized that connection isn’t something that can be studied in isolation. Love, belonging and worthiness are all intertwined with the connection. Dr. Brown discovered there are 2 types of people.
The first type she named “The whole hearted”. These people have a strong sense of love and belonging . The second type struggle for a sense of love and belonging.
Interestingly the difference between the 2 groups is that people who have a strong sense of love and belonging BELIEVE they are worthy of love and belonging.
Adults with ADHD are exceptional, sensitive, kind, and emotionally open people. However often, because of rejections and hurts starting all the way back to kindergarten, they often don’t believe they are worthy of love and feel disconnected from those around them. This can lead to loneliness, depression, and low self esteem.
Since human connection gives our life meaning, keeps us sane, happy, healthy and is the vital for meaningful relationships, its worth learning the commonalities that the ‘whole hearted’ people have.
Watch the video here:
1. Courage to be imperfect.
They let people ‘see’ them, warts and all. Very often we try to hide what we consider to be our imperfections. Yet despite our best efforts, people can see who we really are. Its tiring to keep up the facade, and it puts a barrier between you and those around you, because you don’t want people to get too close in case they discover the truth.
2. Compassionate to themselves.
In order to be compassionate to others you need to be kind and compassionate to yourself first. People with ADHD are really bad at being compassionate to themselves. They are so hard on themselves, they expect so much of themselves and when they don’t match those high standards, they become very critical.
3. They’re authentic.
They let go of who they think they should be, and be who they actually are. This can mean we have to stop our ego from ruling us and start to listen to our bodies and hearts.
4. Embrace vulnerability
They believe that what makes them vulnerable makes them beautiful. This is quite different from the common western thought pattern that values being strong and independent. Yet it takes tremendous strength and courage to put yourself ‘out there’ every day. You may find yourself feeling exposed without your armour on if you start to do this. Yet when you do, you have the rewards of amazing connections with all those dearest to you.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
As well as being a registered nurse, Jacqueline Sinfield is a qualified counselor, has a degree in psychology (Hons) from London, England and is a graduate of Coach University. Her expertise has been featured in the media, including CJAD radio and the Montreal Gazette.
Her first ADHD book, “Untapped Brilliance: How to Reach your Full Potential as an Adult with ADHD”, has been endorsed by Dr. Hallowell and Dr. Gabor Mate. She also has her own radio show which airs every Monday.
She has helped hundreds of adults with ADHD all around the world and lives in her all time favorite city, Montreal, Canada.
Printed With Permission.