Are you torn between love and limerence?
Limerence is something that is your passion and you can't do without it.
Love and limerence can be difficult to distinguish. In 1997 Dr Dorothy Tennov coined the word ‘limerence’ to identify the occurrence of a particular state of mind in the early stages of attraction and infatuation, during which we see no faults in the object of our desire.
Limerence is sometimes referred to as ‘being in love’ as distinct from ‘loving someone’. Sometimes it is called infatuation. A limerent is a person who experiences limerence. The limerent object (LO) is the object the limerent desires.
The swirling chemical high of limerence is a little trick played by Mother Nature on human beings to get them together for the purposes of, you guessed it, reproduction!
Limerence is considered as a cognitive and emotional state of being emotionally attached to or even obsessed with another person, and is typically experienced involuntarily and characterized by a strong desire for reciprocation of one's feelings—a near-obsessive form of romantic love. For Tennov, "sexual attraction is an essential component of limerence ... the limerent is a potential sex partner". Wikipedia
Limerence is a wonderful experience, but the passionate feelings we experience are not an indication that this is a lasting relationship or even a functional or fulfilling one. Even the most unhappy marriages and love affairs start out with both partners feeling limerent and over the moon.
Listen to this 4 minute description of the person in love – er, I mean Limerence! Do you know those fabulous feelings that we have when we are first attracted to someone. You may know them if you have ever had a ‘crush’ on someone, even a pop idol!
The feelings of limerence cause emotional and physical changes – your heart actually aches, and you can’t sleep! You constantly think about the one you are attracted to, almost obsessively. If your feelings are reciprocated, you feel euphoric. But if not, you can fall into a deep despair, even a depression.
The chemicals of limerence play a huge part in your state of mind, yet limerence is a wonderful experience, and fuels desire and passion in the early stages of a new relationship. If only they would last! Have you experienced limerence?
Knowing how to deal with limerent feelings is one of the most important steps in rebuilding your relationship.
When you’re trying to fix your relationship you don’t have limerence to help you easily fall back in love. If you find your discussions always end up in fighting, it’s time to get some professional help.
You can change this today.
I can help you to:
- Achieve a high level of peace and calm within yourself and control your reactions in emotional situations.
- Regain a feeling of connection with your partner and get back those limerent feelings.
- Understand how your emotional brain effects your personal emotions.
—— A GREAT MARRIAGE STARTS WITH YOU ——
