Why do so many people get hung up and hurt about “poor communication”? Poor communication paves the way to disconnection in relationships.How often have you heard, “Oh my mum and I have never been able to communicate”? Or “My boyfriend and I get on great, but our communication is pretty shit.”Animals and birds seem to communicate effectively, so what it is about us humans that makes communication so difficult?Well, unlike animals and birds that communicate just for survival (“look out, the enemy is near” or “come over here and check out this food source!”) – we humans communicate for a number of other reasons:to ask (seek information)to tell (give information)to … [Read more...]
Is Resentment Ruining Your Marriage?
If resentment is ruining your relationship, then it’s important to find ways to work through that resentment Resentment is a strong negative emotion.An emotion that you have when you recall an incident from the past involving your partner’s actions that caused you an emotional pain at the time and has never been resolved.When you think about that incident or argument, you once again have a deep hurt that is experienced as anger or bitterness and because it’s not resolved you find it impossible to move past it.This emotion is a stress response.You might even recall the event so vividly that it almost feels as though it’s still happening.This is because the emotion … [Read more...]
What is the difference between sex and intimacy?
I want to have more intimacy in my relationship Most people have a perfect fairy-ideal of what romantic love and intimacy is.We may believe that love should be like the kind of romance we see portrayed in films, television, and novels and that it includes lots of passionate sec.Humans have a general desire to belong and to love, which is usually satisfied within an intimate relationship. And many think that this means having sex.But too often, people don’t know the difference between sex and intimacy.And they think their romantic relationships are less if they don’t experience this kind of fairy-tale, passionate relationship. The ‘romantic love’ fantasy is really a … [Read more...]
Love Languages
The Importance of Love Languages – What is my primary love language? Relationships often fail because one or both partners start to fall “out of love”. After those initial “fallen-in-love feelings” (when both partners are speaking the other’s Love Language!), one might soon feel that their partner no longer loves them as much as they used to.Hence the importance of Love Languages – but what are they?Imagine we each have an emotional fuel tank inside, and when our fuel tank runs low, we need to refuel, right? But just like with your car, we have a preference for which fuel we use to top up.When your partner shows his or her love in the way that you like and … [Read more...]
How to get over betrayal in a marriage
The worst kind of hurt is betrayal Infidelity is the betrayal our society focuses on, but it is actually the subtle, unnoticed betrayals that truly ruin relationships. Partners may be aware of this disloyalty to each other, but dismiss it because it’s “not as bad as an affair.”Yet anything that violates a committed relationship’s contract of mutual trust, respect, and protection can be disastrous. When partners do not choose each other day after day, with each giving priority to the other, trust and commitment erode away.The worst kind of relationship hurt is betrayalThis may not be another romantic connection. It may be giving priority to someone other than your … [Read more...]
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