The Cold Shoulder

The information about the different emotional styles is starting to interest you, right? Probably because it resonates, and you easily understand what I have been explaining. Yes, this is one of the most common issues in a disconnected marriage. Each one has a different emotional style. And it is not gender specific. Both males and females can be reactive (quick to anger) or avoidant (the cold shoulder). Let’s talk about the cold shoulder or flight response within a ... [Continue Reading]

Reactive Emotional Style Brings Anger Issues

Have you been waiting to learn more about the Fight (Reactive) type of person? Is that you? Are you married to someone who has anger issues, is often frustrated or irritated - someone who has a reactive emotional style? Is it killing your romance? Do you want to know more about why they are like this? Often, the reactive person doesn't even realize that they are irritable or speaking with an annoyed tone. Their reactive display releases the adrenalin that was caused when they ... [Continue Reading]

Gary Chapman’s Five Love Languages

What can I do to fill your love tank tonight? Marriage and family expert Dr. Gary Chapman answers questions on the Five Love Languages. Listen to the video below in which Oprah interviews Dr. Chapman about this topic. Do you know what your partner's primary and secondary love language is? If not, isn't it time to find out? Often the way that you show love for your partner may not be interpreted by your partner as a loving gesture if they don't "speak the same language". Usually, the way that ... [Continue Reading]

Love, Lust and Attraction

I Love Helen Fisher! She is an Anthropologist, not a psychologist, and simply describes what she and her colleagues discover in their research. Helen teaches us about the feelings of "chemistry" we have with someone we feel connected to. And she is right! Our bodies surge with chemicals of attraction, and surge even more if our "love" is requited. Oh the wonderful experience of those attraction chemicals, we swoon with the feelings of being in love. Helen describes what happens in our brains ... [Continue Reading]

Is It Love or Limerence?

Here is David Sacks talking about Love or Limerence. Interesting topic, which I also discuss in my "Romance Your Soulmate" webinar, coming soon. Limerence (also infatuated love) is an involuntary state of mind which results from a romantic attraction to another person combined with an overwhelming, obsessive need to have one's feelings reciprocated. David certainly emphasizes the chemical contribution to the feelings of limerence, (he likens it to taking drugs!) but also realistically ... [Continue Reading]

Love and Limerence

Limerence is a state of mind sometimes referred to as 'being in love' as distinct from 'loving someone'. Sometimes it is called infatuation. The limerent object (LO) is the limerent the person desires. The swirling chemical high of limerence is a little trick played by Mother Nature on human beings to get them together for the purposes of, you guessed it, reproduction! Limerence is a wonderful experience, but the passionate feelings we experience are not an indication that this is a ... [Continue Reading]

Feeling Frustrated And Unloved…

If you have ever felt frustrated with your partner or you are, right now, feeling frustrated and unloved or taken for granted, then I want to share this story with you... My name is Karen and Thirty years ago, my husband Mike and I owned a 76 acre (30 hectare) rolling hills sheep property in the Adelaide Hills, South Australia. It was a beautiful place with two dams and stocked with around 100 Border Leicester ewes, which lambed every spring. When we bought the property it had no internal ... [Continue Reading]

Love DOES Make Us Warm Inside

We have written at length on this website about the physiology of emotions - how your body changes according to what you are feeling. We call all negative emotion, stress. Accumulated stress can lead to severe physical effects felt in your body and ultimately depression. In our anger and anxiety scales, which our members complete, we get you to learn to recognize where in your body you feel the various intensities of your emotions as a first step in identifying the causes of your emotions. A ... [Continue Reading]

Let Go of Lowered Self-Esteem To Reboot Your Relationships

Recently, a friend referred me to a video on the web by Professor Randy Pausch, titled "Last Lecture". You can watch it below. I learned so much from Randy's life experience. His fight against pancreatic cancer, his humility, his gratitude. He said, "Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want." How often in life have you not gotten what you want? Aldous Huxley said, "Experience is not what happens to you; it's what you do with what happens to you." I've had some pretty ... [Continue Reading]

Understand Your Emotional Brain

This post is by Dr. Mike Gosling of The Emotional Leader Program. To perceive emotion is to receive and interpret information from both external (world) and internal (body) environments. Your senses – sight, smell, touch, taste and hearing – connect you to the world around you, through your physical brain. Perception is the process by which information (events) about the outside world impinges on the sensory organs and is then decoded and interpreted by the brain – resulting in a conscious ... [Continue Reading]

Recognize The Pain Timeline

This post is by Dr. Mike Gosling of The Emotional Leader Program. Pain perception is about how appraisal triggers arousal (emotional response) in your body. Deepak Chopra explains that cognitive appraisal in the brain arouses only two impulses—pain or pleasure. We all want to avoid pain and experience pleasure.  Therefore, all the complicated emotional states we find ourselves in are because we are unable to obey these basic drives. [1] Pleasure seems to be managed well by most people ... [Continue Reading]

What Is Limerence?

Limerence is a term coined by American psychologist Dorothy Tennov in her 1979 book Love and Limerence – The Experience of Being in Love to describe the fabulous feelings most of us experience in the early stages of a romantic relationship. It is a temporary phase marked by physical, intellectual and emotional changes. We can’t eat, we can’t sleep, we stay up all night talking, yet we feel full of energy the next day. Many people lose weight at this time. We feel euphoric and are convinced no ... [Continue Reading]